I can't believe a whole year has gone by since I started blogging, back then it was a way of trying to define who I had become after being thrown into mummyhood, now it is a fun place to share my parenting experiences, the ups and downs of losing the mama pouch and reviewing the shit, amazing and totally rip off products out there but more than anything sharing a smile. I thought long and hard about what I wanted to post for my 1 year anniversary, I finally decided who better to help me make this choice than you. So I took inspiration from my most highly post which you can find here. So here is my top 10 things you learn as a mum- the toddler version. (Keep reading to the end to find out about my other celebratory post coming this week and maybe a few little freebies)
1. Nappies are either decorative or just pretty bum supports, they will not and do not support the amount of liquid your toddler wishes to relieve themselves of while climbing over your furniture.
2. The day you wished for your child to talk will become a long and distant memory while you try to stare through there suddenly monstrous head, drown out there repeated shouting and catch up on Emmerdale. Just remember to brag at mummy meet ups "I saw the credits at least".
3. Private time! What's that? Toilet or shower, "BOO mummy I'm here" yes thank you sweetheart for the mild heart attack I now have half a bottle of this ridiculously expensive supposedly relaxing shampoo in my eyes!
4. Toddler actually stands for:
Toddler thought process: go in room, empty everything, throw it around, once complete start to scatter said items around house, once mummy goes to tidy up first room start above steps again in the next room until the entire house is in uproar and the only creature able to live amongst this crap would be the rats.
5. Throwing birthday parties for teddy bears with candles, cakes and presents has become absolute normality. "This isn't what all other people do at the weekend?"
6. Dressing a toddler is like trying to get Barbie's shoes on an elephant. Impossible and dangerous.
7. Every toddler is secretly a millionaire. Everything is there's, they bought it, they own, don't touch it. IT! If your wondering is the world and it's contents. That Radley handbag you bought, there's. The diamond bracelet on your dresser, there's. The kid's bike you saw while driving down a street 363 miles away from home, there's. Don't try and deny it life will just become problematic. Hand over your belongings, lower your head and come to terms with the fact you now rent things from your toddler.
8. There imagination will blow your mind. You believe you gave birth to a human I believe there actually extra terrestrial creatures. Last week my daughter told me her Polly Pocket car was broken, she told me it needed petrol and water, "well done sweetheart that it very clever". She came back to me 5 minutes later with a toy dog cage (the petrol) and a Princess Crown (the water) huh!!
9. Meltdowns are not predictable. You would presume that the words stop that, put it back, no, be quiet and don't ride the dog like a horse would all be the start of the world ending and I swear to you they are. But then there's others, the ones that hit you like an invisible iron bat in the face, unseen and unwanted. You think your being the nice mother your children wish you to be by asking "Isabelle do you want to watch a princess film with mummy" this comment ends all human life as we know it. First comes the window shattering scream and then the dramatic should win an oscar fall on the floor with legs flailing wildly in the air. I figured it out in the end I had ruined world domination during brick building.
10. Life is a roller-coaster of emotions. Not only are toddlers the most irritating and infuriating beings to grace this planet there also the most loveable. Those little glimpses of angel's will melt your heart until approximately 10 seconds later when she-devil strikes again but each time your little prodigy says "love you mummy" the world is forgotten.
To all the parents out there the biggest and most crucial advice I could give is to laugh away the stress and smile each and everyday. Your toddler is a rainbow, many colours, layers and dimensions and with rainbows comes sunshine as well as rain.
I want to thank everyone who has read followed and liked my blog and social media sites. As a thank you I will be doing my first mummy themed giveaway on Thursday with products worth over £70.00 make sure you follow so you know when this goes live. Thank you again
Miss Savvy Blogger