Monday, 14 April 2014

Mummy Mondays- Sucking Lemon Mum's, Attachment Parenting and Controversial Breast Feeding

When you become a Mum what no-one tells you is that you unwillingly land back in the school playground with tit for tat games. The land of parenting can be a difficult and sometimes baffling time for many and all you want is verification that your doing the right thing, but sometimes you can fall in to lonely traps of disapproving others. With a world now full of theories and methods its hard for any parent to keep up.

The latest new fad in the Mummy world at the moment is Attachment Parenting. As I've said before I'm not one for hanging on to these strange tactics, I'm more of a go with the flow type of mum but what is attachment parenting? It was one of those many thrown about phrases that I secretly googled while amongst other mummy's. To me those two words "attachment parenting" brings little shivers to my spine. I love my daughter I really do, but do I want her hanging off my thigh? no I do not.

What is Attachment Parenting? 
Attachment parenting is a method used in child rearing . The theory is that babies need an "attachment" like bond with there parents by using methods such as co-sleeping, baby wearing and the controversial topic of breast feeding.Users of the theory believe that creating an almost tribal like method to parenting can create a stronger bond with your child which will help them later in life. By changing and adapting your lifestyle to coincide to your child's every need it will help them feel more supported and loved.

Is it just me that wonders how children have managed to survive for the last thousand years or so. With the famous "breast is best", "baby wearing" and now "Attachment Parenting" theories flying around I don't know how any mother is meant to feel comfortable just being a parent. The world has started to look at mothers for the answer to world peace and poverty I think. I'm not one to judge other mums and by no means do I think that parents that follow method's are wrong, everyone is different and has there own beliefs. I personally don't think theories, books and methods is the answer to every parents question. When a baby is born they of course require attention and comfort but do we really need to live our lives through another set of rules and regulations. I've read stories of mothers being belittled as they do not follow all or possibly any of these guide lines. Parents who return to work are now also not fit mothers or fathers according to some sources. Has our country not got enough people on benefits without pushing those willing to work to feel victimised and bullied as a parent. I got used to the snub from other mums because my child wasn't breast fed. Do you know why my daughter is bottle fed? No you don't? I felt like screaming at many of them, and have before now asked what they are staring at to receive a stutter of words. This feeling of non-acceptance stopped me from going to baby clubs, activity days and even weigh in sessions. I don't happen to look like I'm sucking a lemon because your child is so attached to your breast that now he doesn't know the difference between a dummy and a boob, even though he is three years old.

What I'm trying to say is the worlds best parent does not exist in every ones world but it can exist in yours when you accept this sentence. Don't let anyone tell you your a bad parent for not doing the same as them or reading a parenting book as though it was a bible. My daughters nearly two and we get complimented continuously for her good behaviour, advanced communication skills and asked frequently why she slept through the night from 8 weeks. Well I have a confession, I never once read a parenting book from cover to cover, I learned to hear my daughter and trust my instinct for decisions I had to make. Parenting theories like many things need to be attacked in moderation. Carrying your baby (baby wearing) 12 hours a day isn't good for neither you or your child. No-one wants the clingy child that can not be put down without World War 3 taking place in your friends living room. I am by no one standards perfect but I do the best I can day in day out to bring my daughter up in a way I will be proud off.

Be the parent you want to be and live you life on your decisions, not from "The Next Top Mum".

Ranting not Judging

Miss Savvy Mum
xoxo
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6 comments:

  1. i'm not a mother but i'd love to be one day, and these are things that i'll have to think about. There are so many theories out there that i think it just confuses mums. Instead of concentrating on what best is for your own child, many are using methods that aren't suitable for them or their children. Of course these methods will work for some and not others, but i just think it's totally wrong for people to impose their views on parenting on others. Like you said, instead of trying to be the next top mum, they should be concentrating on what is best for their own child :) I really like this post and hopefully if i'm lucky enough to have a family i'll be able to do it my own way as well :) btw those photos are great, your daughter is so so cute! x

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    1. What a lovely comment. I'm sure one day you will start a family and from what you say you will be a wonderful one. Thank you for being a daily reader and supporting my blog. It means so much. Clare xx

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    2. aww that's such a sweet thing to say, thank you:) You're very welcome, i love your blog :) xx

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    3. Ow thank you hunny. That means so much to hear someone who enjoys my work. Huge hugs Clare xx

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  2. Love this, When I had my son 5 years ago, I had no interest in 'bonding' with other mums in baby groups. I have a good family, friends and my son plays with their children. I could not think of anything worse then a load of women sat around judging and comparing their child's development to mine - I could not give a toss what others think to be quite honest and being pregnant again I still have no interest in these groups! My mum and dad raised me and my brother like most parents did with morals, regrets, doubt, guilt and most importantly love. We are fine....I try to avoid talking to parents in play grounds but I have a friendly face so this is proving difficult..... Lol Oh and kill me now but guess what... I also love going out without my child and have gasp.. Left him with grandparents to go on holidays with my husband/friends ;-) xxxx

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    1. How dare you go I a personal holiday!! Lol. Those little breaks help us re fuel to be better parents don't they? It's lovely to hear someone else with a take no rubbish attitude. Thank you for commenting it means a lot. Clare xx

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